What are we focused on proving?
Recently, I spent several days in Sedona, AZ, participating in a business retreat with other women entrepreneurs. The event had planned working sessions but also plenty of free space for reflection, outdoor activities, and overall well-being time. Much of the content for the sessions was anchored in mindset because it can be the fastest accelerator to success or the fastest decelerator.
One of the things I started pondering in one of the sessions and continued on one of our hikes was the question about the challenges I set for myself—personally and professionally.
Do I challenge myself to accomplish hard things (start and grow a business, train for endurance races, etc.) because I’m proving something to myself—strong enough, gritty enough, persistent enough, or am I trying to prove something to other people?
If I’m honest with myself, it’s a bit of both.
I like having something I’m striving for because I always want to focus on creating and being the best version of myself.
However, it does feed my ego a bit when someone compliments me on accomplishing something they believe would be hard for them.
I rely on external validation more than I wish, but that probably makes me fit in with most other humans. We like the pats on the back and the celebrations of our success because they make us feel good.
If you’re an achiever like me, I think we like to accomplish “hard” things to prove to ourselves that we’re focused on growth and improvement.
I think there’s a happy medium, though on how hard to push to keep challenging yourself. We need to find that ability to be content with where we are while keeping ourselves open to new challenges.
When we constantly strive, I think we miss out on enjoying the moments of where we are. We’re chasing the adrenaline hits. We’re focusing on not being or having enough vs. believing we are enough already.
When we constantly have the pebble in our shoes, nothing seems quite right, and we’re constantly searching. One of my first blog posts was about this topic because someone pointed out that this is how I generally seemed. I’m definitely still working on this.
I have enough. I am enough. I’ve done enough.
But I won’t stop signing up for new challenges because that’s not me. I love the energy that comes with a new challenge.
However, I am focused on is making sure that the challenges I decide to tackle fit in with my 3 anchor words for the year - is it something I truly WANT to do? Will it be FUN, or how can I make it fun? How can I keep it SIMPLE vs. hard?
Getting away from the day-to-day is always good for gaining new perspectives, re-anchoring to what’s most important, and ensuring alignment between your intentions, behaviors, and actions.
When I work with my clients, one of the biggest opportunities I offer them is the opportunity to zoom out so they can see what’s blocking their progress and how to find a better path to their goals.
If it’s time to gain a new perspective, let’s talk.