There is Hope…
Sometimes I assume that I'm the only one feeling a certain way. This belief often results in more introverted behaviors or frustration or sadness or loneliness. More often than not, the reality is that others are also feeling this same way, I just don't know it because I may not be brave enough to share my feelings out loud. I let the voices in my head dictate the storytelling vs. the truth of what's really happening.
Over the past weeks, I've talked about fears, the voices in our heads, and the importance of being a coach for the people we lead. During this challenging time where there are a lot of unknowns, we need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves and those around us. It starts with admitting how we are feeling and what thoughts are going through our head and deciding on who we want to be and what actions we want to take. The ideas we've been thinking about over the past weeks can be put in practice right now.
Take a moment and get some writing tools (either digital or old school). Write down your answers...getting them out of your head and on to paper is important.
What are you most afraid of right now with this growing crisis? I'll throw out a few that have gone through my head recently. How real are your fears? Which things can you control?
I will get sick or someone I care about will get sick.
People will suffer because they don't have the right personal or financial support during this time.
That people will turn against each other.
That when this is over, we will not learn the lessons we need to learn.
What voices are you hearing? I'll throw out a few that have gone through my head recently. You'll see that I've been conflicted. Which voices are helping you vs. making you weaker?
I need to cut back on where I'm going but I don't want to stop doing/living fully.
Is this a cold or am I getting really sick? I think I'm being paranoid.
Do they really have to cancel outdoor sports practices? I know...yes..it's the right thing to do but it's still frustrating.
I can't do anything to help. Actually, I can help by caring for others or making sure if I'm sick I don't go out around others.
I don't know what to believe. Who do I listen to?
What role do you have as a leader - of your self or your family, a team at work, a team in the community or in the world at large? What are you being called to do right now? A few ideas below.
Share your own fears but also your beliefs around how we can best handle the situation. Share the facts and any action plans available. Lack of information creates more fear for many of us.
Set clear expectations around work behaviors, priorities and how you want situations handled -
"The health of you and your family is the priority,"
"If you're not feeling well, here's what we need/want you to do..,"
"Working from home/virtual schooling is different but it's still work and school. If you need help figuring out how to work this way, let me know."
Check in on people. Focus on the whole person. Listen to what the people around you are saying or not saying - in the words they use out loud but also their body language or their actions. Who do they need you to be in your role to best support them? A champion, a listening ear, a sounding board, an idea generator? Focus on what they really need and want in the moment.
When people around you are overwhelmed, point out the resiliency they have shown in the past. Rekindle their beliefs that they can make it through this situation and maybe even thrive in the face of adversity.
Point out what is going well - teams collaborating and helping each other, innovative solutions to work or school, taking actions to help those who are home-bound or at risk.
Get creative (if needed) on how to stay connected. Daily text or phone call check-ins, video chats/calls, Make sure you and the people around you are not trying to go through this alone. Be their team member or coach.
Prioritize your own self-care. You will not be able to help the others around you if you're not taking care of yourself. Eat well, drink plenty of fluids, get enough sleep, spend time with people that give you strength, acknowledge the emotions that you're feeling, ask for help if you need it.
Over the coming weeks, we will feel a variety of emotions - helplessness, fear, frustration, anger, sadness and, eventually, hopefully relief that we are past this challenge. In moments of adversity, we all make a choice on how we want to handle ourselves - our attitudes, the things we say/write, and the things we do. Be conscious about this decision.
How do you want to show up to others and to yourself during this situation?
What would your best self say or do?
Is this the opportunity you were looking for to showcase your super powers - innovative idea generator, empathetic listener, creative problem solver, team cheerleader to name a few?
You are not alone. Even if you're not physically together, be in community with those that need you - your family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, Draw support from them. Give support to them.
We are strong. We are resilient. We are connected. We will be our best selves. Find the mantra that will help you when you're feeling overwhelmed.
There is hope.
You are not alone.
Do the next right thing.