Memories
As I started thinking about my blog topic, I knew I wanted to focus on how our memories can serve us...in appreciation and gratitude, in growth, and in empathy for others. We all have many memories that stand out for us related to life milestones - births, marriages, graduations, first dates, promotions, first home purchases, deaths, etc. We also have memories of special moments with our friends or our family members. We have memories of painful experiences - both physical and emotional - major illnesses and injuries, relationship break ups, job loss, or work failures. The one thing in common is that those experiences and our memories of them have helped shape who we are today. Each of those experiences taught us something about the world around us or how we react to celebrations and crises.
Some memories evoke feelings of appreciation or gratitude for those who showed up to celebrate or grieve or listen to how the experience was impacting you.
Some memories evoke feelings of growth...we thought we would never get through something traumatic, but we found strength we never knew we had and now are able to be supportive of others in similar situations.
Some memories evoke feelings of empathy...we know how hard an experience was and think about all that are going through something similar today and how much support and grace they may need to weather that storm.
Eventually, our memories fade to the background until we're prompted by something to pull them back into the forefront...maybe it's a specific day on the calendar or maybe it's a Facebook memory that pops up or a family event where people are reminiscing. Those occurrences make it feel like it's real again...sometimes it's a positive feeling and sometime one of sadness. But, that's the power of a memory.
Sometimes, our recollection of the experience is different from others who went through the same thing. A year or two or three from now, our memories of the first 6 months of the Covid pandemic will have many similarities but each of us will have different specific memories of what happened. We may remember caring for or grieving for someone who became ill, the feeling of being laid off from work, worrying about having enough toilet paper, or, on the positive side...more family time, loving not having a commute, or being able to prioritize health and wellness.
As we think about our lives today, for me, it's key to find ways to capture our experiences so that we have reminders of them. Whether that trigger is a journal entry or a photo or video or a piece of memorabilia like a ticket for visiting a national park, having something tangible helps us remember what we were feeling the day that we experienced it. We can recall how much fun we had white water rafting or, if that memory is a painful one, it's a reminder that we survived the storm and hopefully, became stronger because of it.
Today is a day of memories for all of us in the US (and others around the world that watched) that are old enough to remember where they were on September 11, 2001. For many, today evokes memories of fear of what was happening...the not knowing what was coming next, of gratitude that you or those you cared about were not injured or killed, of grief for those who lost family members, colleagues, and friends, of sadness that evil had breached our borders, and probably many other emotions. I remember being in the office and hearing about the first plane and then being in the cafe area and watching the second plane hit. And once, the plane hit the Pentagon, we knew we needed to send everyone home since we were working in a tall building not far from Dulles Airport. I remember heading back towards the city since we lived in Arlington and my husband was there and wondering if I was going to be able to get there. Living close to the Pentagon, I remember seeing the smoke from our town house and waiting as the facts started to unfold and praying that nothing else was going to happen that day. I was thankful that my close friends and family were safe but scared for all those that knew someone who was missing. That day will likely be engrained on everyone's memories forever, even if you were not directly impacted, because it changed the way we saw the world around us.
Today, I am filled with gratitude for all those first responders who put their lives at risk or gave their lives to help others, with sadness and empathy for all those families that lost someone, and with appreciation that we were a nation that could come together in a crisis despite our differences and find a way forward.