Is your inner critic helpful or harmful?
Unfortunately, the short answer is that it depends.
Is your inner critic spotlighting factual errors you made or potential ones that you are ready to beat yourself up for?
I was thinking about this topic earlier this week, reflecting on several interactions.
Situation 1
I recently gave a presentation for an organization, and my inner critic graded my performance a C+/B-. My rationale was that I didn’t feel like some of the content flowed as naturally as I wanted it to, and I skipped a few stories that would have made a more personalized impact. My critic reminds me that I must prepare more until it becomes second nature.
In this case, it’s helpful to understand how I can be better, though the real grade comes from the group that participated in the session.
Situation 2
After a recent meeting where I was frustrated about how things had gone, I said what I was thinking out loud to a broader group than I should have and more colorfully than necessary. My inner critic immediately jumped on it, making me regret what I had said. That would have been a level of ok. What’s not good is that I was still thinking about it in the middle of the night. That’s when it’s no longer serving me.
In this case, it was a helpful reminder to think about what I want to say before I say it, but it did not help to continue to wonder why I did it.
Situation 3
The final one I’ll highlight is one that my coach points out more regularly than I would like.
When I’m sharing a win from the week, there is often a “but” or a limiting phrase that goes along with it. A simple example: I describe myself as an average runner because I am not fast. When I say something like this, my coach will point out that average runners haven’t logged more than 20 half-marathons.
This critic voice is not helpful. Though it’s keeping me humble, it’s not letting me be proud of my accomplishments.
Is your inner critic helping you be better or holding you back?
I’d love to hear about your experience with your inner critic and when it’s helpful or harmful.
If you’re feeling like nothing is perfect, it’s not supposed to be. Check out my books available on Amazon.
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