I would tell my younger self…
Best friends at work
In two different situations this week, people were sharing what they would tell their younger self so it got me thinking about what I would tell my 23-year-old self. I've also been listening to Julia Louis-Dreyfus' new podcast, Wiser Than Me, which spotlights women in their later years (70+), and it's been fascinating to hear about their experiences and what they value most in their later years.
Here are 5 things that I would tell my early career self:
It's ok to change your mind about what work means to you.: Pre-kids, likely similar to many of you, I worked hard and played hard. My job was my primary focus and way of evaluating my impact. Post-kids, I still worked hard, but I was a lot more tired juggling home, kids, and work so the playing hard slowed down, but I still was set on proving myself and my worth. As my kids have become young adults, and I launched my own business, I now can choose more about how I want to spend my time between work and personal time.
Don't take work so seriously that it outweighs the joy of living your life. Work can feel like the center of the universe if you let it. Build your identity outside of your job title from day 1 of your career. That next promotion may be important, but it's not as important as your relationships.
Figure out the work activities that you love to do and do more of them. We spend so much time at work during a week that we need to find ways to enjoy what we do. Time goes by faster when we're in flow, doing what we do best. After 30+ years in the workforce, I know the things I can do and do well, but that I get no enjoyment out of doing. Try lots of things early so you can figure out what you like.
It makes a difference when you love the people you get to work with. I have been lucky. I met people I loved spending time with in most of my jobs. My co-workers and sometimes, my team members, became my friends. Gallup will tell you that their research shows that having someone you identify as a best friend is a key driver of employee engagement. I think they're right.
Every situation is a learning opportunity, especially the hard ones. We are bound to fail if we try new things. We're also imperfect to start out with so we're bound to say or do the wrong thing more than one time in our career. Those are the moments we learn. I have several learning moments that stick out in my head where someone delivered the tough message of how I needed to change. It sucked in the moment, but I grew from the experience.