Do I Belong?
Do you ever walk into a meeting or an event and wonder if you belong there? There's a feeling you get when you walk in and don't know people but you feel a vibe that people are interested in getting to know you. There's also the vibe where you feel like you're interrupting when you try to introduce yourself.
I've walked into both of these situations over the past few months. The key is the mindset we have as we enter the occasion. If we go into it feeling like we belong (even when we're insecure), we are more confident in walking up to someone and introducing ourselves. I think this plays out even if you are more introverted. If you believe that you have something to offer the group or are actively focusing on being curious about the other people and why they're there or what's on their mind, it takes the pressure off of us.
I was recently in a group setting where the group was inviting (they had been a group for a period of time) , and I felt like I could belong there. In addition to me feeling like I could belong, they needed to feel that I could fit in and add value. I did my best to be the best authentic version of myself, but there was still self-doubt on how that would come across. Would it be enough?
I had a nice chat with myself afterward while waiting to hear the perspectives. Though the conversation in my head was about whether I was good enough or would they like me, it ended on the feeling of yes, I am good enough even if I'm not the right fit. The good news for me was that we both felt like it was a good fit, but it was a reminder that as confident as we may feel at times, we still are hungry to feel like we belong. It's ok to feel insecure as you're walking into meet a group of strangers. Often, they're feeling the same way…we just assume they're not.
As you go into your next meeting or event with a group of strangers, start by believing that you do belong there and that you do have something interesting to share. That confidence will shine through, and people will want to meet you.