#ChoosetoChallenge… one right way, one normal
I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with today’s blog but as I was listening to a great podcast (Brené with Dr. Susan David on The Dangers of Toxic Positivity, Part 2 of 2), I realized I wanted to focus on where we are – 1 year into the pandemic response, all of the equity discussions that got more visibility this summer, and a US election that has shone a light on how divided our country is.
I think it’s time to admit normal is not one thing and that there is not just one version of right.
Normal for you is not normal for me. The country where we were born, the race or ethnicity we were born into, the religion that we were brought up in, the families and communities in which we were raised – all of these have influenced our personal view of what “normal” looks and feels like. There isn’t a normal that is more right than another. It’s different definitely, but not necessarily better. Though we may be able to agree on some things that are not right (harming others, stealing, etc.), there is always a context that needs to be considered. Is someone stealing to provide food to their starving family? Did someone harm another person because they or someone they care about was being harmed? I see us often focusing on a binary view of life, and I’m not sure that things are truly one way or another…I mostly see gray these days. Context matters. Intent matters.
When people continue to say, “I want the world to get back to normal,” I cringe a bit because I’m not sure what existed in March 2020 was something we need to go back to just as it was. I want a better version of that. I want a normal that incorporates all that we have learned through the hardships of the past year.
Yes, I want to be able to travel freely and spend time at a live concert with lots of people and not worry about getting sick or making someone else sick. However...
I don’t want to go back to a time where we were less equity-aware or unwilling to acknowledge white privilege.
I don’t want to go back to the pace of life we were going at where we didn’t sleep enough or take time to take care of ourselves or our families.
I don’t want to go back to a world that believes that everyone needs to be co-located at an office 5 days per week for 8-10 hours per day to say we’re productive or effective.
I don’t want to go back to an environment where we’re not checking on our friends and neighbors to see how they’re doing because we’re too busy or self-involved.
I want the next normal to be better.
When you think of challenging beliefs or habits or systems, what is the first reaction that you have? Is it excitement? Is it dread? Is it fear? Is it a set of mixed emotions? Depending on the topic and our past experiences, we might feel a bit of all of them. Changing how we think and feel is uncomfortable but necessary.
All of us have a role to play in creating the best environments for our families, our friends, our colleagues, and our global neighbors. Some of us may play smaller roles focused on what we as individuals can do, and others may choose to take on a bigger set of challenges, influencing teams or communities, or organizations.
What if we were open to “normal” being more than one thing and “right” being tied to the context and intentions? What positive impact could we have on the world at large?
I #choosetochallenge that there is one right and one normal. I choose to believe that we can manage the tension between alternative versions of right or normal.