Are you trying to fit in a box?

Unsplash+ In collaboration with Kateryna Hliznitsova

Are you limiting your success?

Over the past two weeks, I’ve talked to two clients who realized that they had been forcing themselves to operate within boxes that didn’t feel right. They kept operating in those boxes because they believed they needed to follow the “rules.”

Situation 1:

The focus was tied to the organization's culture and the perception of how people should react to the expectations outlined by the senior leader. The leader I was working with felt disempowered and that the way they were showing up didn’t feel authentic. I challenged them to consider if there wasn’t a rule book they had to follow. What if they had the agency to decide how they would accomplish the necessary outcome in a way that felt more true to their way of operating? 

We sometimes forget that we can find other ways to accomplish an outcome. We forget that it’s ok to color outside the lines and not just operate in the box. As we move into higher leadership positions, we often have more flexibility in how we operate. The charter is just to get it done.

So…what’s the best way to get it done that feels good for you?

Situation 2: 

In this case, the leader found themselves trying to operate in a style that just didn’t feel like them. They had a vision of what a leader should act like, so they held themselves to that standard. Leading felt hard and weighty. They realized they could lead differently, in a more heart-centered and people-focused way, which felt more natural. They could focus on the relationships with their team vs. being perceived as “the boss.”

There is no one right way to lead. We all need to find the style that works best for us and feels most authentic.

How does it apply to us? 

Are you focused on fitting in a certain box as you lead yourself or your teams? 

I recently recognized that I was living with several “shoulds” as part of my business operating model. I have started to ask the question of whether those ways of working actually fit with how I want to lead myself and my business, and, in some cases, the answer is no, so I’m revisiting the assumptions that I built these habits on.

We always have a choice if we want to operate in the box and color inside the lines or if we want to get rid of the box and color the way we think looks beautiful. It’s our choice.

We can start with the blank piece of paper and decide if there is even a box or lines to color within.

Is there an area you’re living with “should” in your personal or professional life? If you’re ready to reevaluate and what a coaching partner to support you, let’s chat.

#should #intentionalleadership #leadyourself