Whose Story Are You Living?

We all have a story that we're living.  The question is whether we're living our story, the one we want to write for our lives or if we're reading the story someone else has written for us.  It's so easy to fall into the trap of living the story someone is telling for you.  

Brene Brown talks about our stories and if we're sitting in them or standing outside of them.  For a life that we appreciate, I think we need to write our own story and then stand inside of it, actively.  It's not enough to watch it as an outsider would - reading the book, watching the movie.  It's our story.  We should be the one telling it.  We should be the one acting it out.  We need to own our story.

How do we end up in a place where we're not writing and owning our story?

Sometimes it's because it's easier to go along with the flow of how things are proceeding instead of making a different decision.

Sometimes it's because we're really not sure what we want our story to be.

Sometimes it's because we don't want to disappoint others or disrupt a relationship.

Sometimes we don't even realize we have let it happen.  Maybe we were owning the story for a bit, and then we moved into passive mode and forgot to keep being active in our story.

We all need to write our own stories and live them out fully.  What does that mean actually?  It means...

• Defining the characters in our story - who do we want to play roles?  Are they significant characters or are they bit players? Do they stay for the whole story or only for a scene or a chapter?

• What's the setting(s) for the story?  Does it take place in one location or is there movement?  What are the underlying cultural norms that play a role in the story?

• What's the plot of the story?  A good plot usually has a set-up, a rising action, a climax, a falling action, and a resolution.  In our lives, I think we may have chapters with different plots.  Where are you today?

• What's the theme of the story?  Our lives are going to have many themes as we go through the stages of our life.  We need to be deliberate in defining our theme.  How would you describe the theme of your life right now?  Does it feel comfy when you try it on?  if not, do you need to switch it out for a new theme?

• What conflict(s) happen in the story?  How do the characters react and adapt to them? What do they learn from each one?  They won't all end in successful outcomes, but there will be lessons from all of them.  What lessons have you and are you learning from the conflicts you experience?

What story are you writing or reading right now?  Is it your story or the one someone else told you to write?  Are you reading the story of your life like it's the life of someone else?

If you are writing the best story of your life, kudos to you.  Keep owning those story elements.

If you are reading or writing someone else's story, jump back in the author's seat.  It's time to write the story you want to live.

If you want support in getting back in that author's seat, I'd love to talk with you.  You can schedule some time here.

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Let's own our story together!