Counting our Blessings, Joy, and Gratitude
This season of life is bringing unexpected challenges for all of us. Some challenges are somewhat normal in that we see them often in our world (relationships not working out, family members getting sick, loss of a job, etc.) but that doesn't make them less challenging. They're exacerbated when you're in the middle of a global pandemic without clarity on when you might be safe to do some of the things that bring you joy like taking a trip to somewhere new or going to a concert or even just hosting a large family celebration.
Many of you may be feeling that you're out of energy for this to keep on as it is.
Many of you may be feeling that it's just not fair that so many of your hopes for 2020 have gone by the wayside.
Many of you may be sad for missed milestones for yourself or your children - graduations, proms, marriage celebrations
Many of you may not see how and when you start feeling like you again.
Many of you are worried about what happens with school in the fall.
Many of you are worried about high-risk family members and how the pandemic will impact them.
Many of you may be weary from an ongoing battle against racism or discrimination.
I don't have all of the answers, but what I do know is that focusing on gratitude or counting your blessings or identifying those moments of joy in our life do help balance the scales a bit. Most experts will tell you that gratitude is a practice that will impact your happiness...just taking a bit of time each day to recognize the little things or big things makes a difference. And, maybe you're at the bottom of the valley right now, and aren't feeling that you have blessings in your life or that there's anything to be grateful for. I would challenge you to sit still for a few minutes, and ideally go out in nature, and really think about the little things that you can be grateful for.
There's a song by Laura Story that I've anchored to in my darkest moments...Blessings. Some of the lyrics highlight that even our darkest moments might be blessings in disguise. When you're in the valley, blessings may be hard to see, but they're there. I know that one "in disguise blessing" of a global pandemic for my family was slowing down the activities so we could spend some more time together at the dinner table and playing games afterwards. A simple example but one that could get missed in the fear and anxiety caused by the pandemic.
Since January, I've been making a list each night of 3 things that brought me joy throughout the day as a way to reflect on the goodness in life. Some days, the 3 things jump out right away, and some days, I really need to think about what brought me joy or that I was grateful for. I know that I'm blessed or privileged or lucky depending on the word you want to choose that I am not worrying about how we're going to pay our mortgage or feed my children, but, like all of you, there are stresses and fears in my life. Counting my blessings, no matter how big or small they may seem, keeps me grounded because they may be things that others are just dreaming of.
Here are some of my blessings, moments of joy and things I'm grateful for...
My grandfather turns 105 tomorrow and, overall, is healthy and active and engaged in life around him.
I have a community of women that I trust and enjoy spending time with because they care about me and can make me laugh
My children are healthy and active with activities and friends that bring them joy.
My family has what we need as far as housing and food and enough for vacations and hobbies.
I have time every morning to sit with my cup of coffee (or 2) and plan out the day ahead.
I live in a safe neighborhood where I can take walks and my kids can bike, and I'm close to several parks if we want to take a hike and explore.
I live in a country where we have access to healthcare and clean water.
Seeing dolphins in the ocean
Seeing a rainbow emerge after a storm
Hearing the crash of waves on the beach and nothing else.
Seeing a sunrise or a sunset.
Hearing a small child laugh.
A few items on my list...some little and some big but they all help me appreciate that there is light even when I feel like I'm in the darkness of the valley. Identifying these small things won't fix what might be broken in my life or the world at large, but they give me energy and hope. They put a smile on my face for at least a moment. They remind me of the good in the world when I feel like there is too much hate or selfishness or danger.
I encourage you to take 5 minutes today and find at least 3 things that you can see as blessings or that you're grateful for or that bring you true joy. I bet that you will have a smile on your face, and you will be doing something that will foster greater happiness in your life if you keep up the habit.
If you want to read a bit more on gratitude, here is one article of many that outlines the benefits or if you're motivated to learn more about the science of well-being and where gratitude fits in, check out this free Coursera course hosted by Yale University and work through the weekly exercises.
What is bringing you joy today or that you would count as a blessing (even if in disguise) or that you are grateful for?