CHAPTERS

Happy New Decade!  Happy New Year!  Happy Friday!  Even though I would normally publish a blog next Friday, I couldn't skip sending one this week because we're wrapping up the first week of the year which fits this topic perfectly.

My kids and I often listen to The Highway on Sirius XM, and there's a recent song out by Brett Young called "Chapters" which inspired this post.   The refrain gets me every time...are we learning the lessons that each page brings?

"There's no perfect life

You can't hold back time

But you hold on tight

Hopin' you might find

Every page you've turned is a lesson learned

Ain't we all

Ain't we all just tryna get it right?

These are the chapters of my life, mmm"

The Perfect Life.  I think many of us fall into the comparison trap.  We look at someone else's life and compare ours to theirs - their accomplishments, their perfect family photo on social media, the workout they just nailed, the new car or house they just bought.  We forget that behind those amazing things, those individuals are probably looking at someone else and comparing themselves too.

 As we start this new decade, what if we all just started with the premise that there isn't one perfect life but that our life can be perfect for us?  We know that every moment will not be perfect in the sense that we're happy and filled with joy but maybe the tough moments are perfect for us because we're learning something we needed to learn - to sacrifice, to be more patient, to give/have grace, to not judge.  We shift our mindset to "do the best we can every day and focus on what we're learning from every experience, every chapter of our life."

When we think about having it all or comparing our lives to someone else's, we often neglect the part about what chapter of our life we are in.  Are we in the chapter focused on building a career?  Are we in the chapter focused on nurturing a family?  Are we in the chapter focused on reinventing ourselves?  Maybe we're looking at someone who is in a very different chapter than we are in and wondering why we don't have what they have.  Have you considered what chapter of your book you're in?

I proposed an exercise on New Year's Day to pick your word of the year (or quarter) so that you have an anchor for the actions that you'll take throughout the year.  Maybe this exercise should also include titling the Chapter that you're in right now.  Maybe it's the same word, maybe it's a different word.  Reflect on what chapter of your life you are in.  

• Figure out where you are in the book of your life.  Which chapter are you in? 

• Name your chapter and define what the main character is learning/needs to learn in this chapter.

• Evaluate the chapter. Is it so exciting you can't wait to turn the page and keep reading or is it a dull read?

• What would make the chapter a better read?

Just like with an actual book, we have choices.  We are the author of this book so we get to make the decisions.  Do we want to accelerate getting to the next chapter?  Do we want to linger in this chapter?  Do we need more exciting characters or adventures in the next chapter or do we need a transitional/more reflective chapter?  What would make these chapters more compelling to read?  

One chapter doesn't define a book.  It has a story to tell but it isn't the full book.  All the chapters together and all the lessons learned on the pages of those chapters are what define us.  If you're in a chapter that is not what you want it to be, use the start of a new year and decade to write a new chapter or improve the one you're in.

There is no one perfect life or perfect book.  You are the author of your book so write the perfect chapter for where you are in your life and what you need it to be.