A Change of Scenery & Human Connection...

What are you most looking forward to when restrictions start to lift?  

I'm ready for a change of scenery and for more in-person connection.  I've been using some of this time trying to figure out what I want my life to look like when I have the freedom of choice back on where I go and who I'm with.  Through that reflection, I've also been thinking about what I miss most/what makes me sad and what have been the positives of this extra time at home.  It's been an interesting exercise for me because I learned some things I may not have if this crisis hadn't occurred because some things have not been major shifts for us.

I've worked from home most of the time since 2005, and my husband has since 2003 when we moved to Delaware, so us both working at home has not been a new experience for us.  Having our teenagers home during the day - also not so odd, since they were home a lot of the time last summer.  Thankfully, they're old enough to make their breakfast/lunches, do their schoolwork, and keep themselves entertained while we work, though with a bit more XBox than we'd like for my son.  So, unlike many of my friends and colleagues, this has not been a major challenge for us but I love that we are not always racing around from one activity to the next.

I'm used to being on conference calls most of the days vs. in person meetings so this is not new for me.  I'm thankful for the technology that exists that has let me work and socialize this way for years.  My former teams would tell you that I've been a pusher of "video" on calls for a long time so this was not an adjustment I had to make.  As well, they would tell you that I got over my concern of always looking office-ready a long time ago.  Right or wrong - I'm ok being on video without makeup or before/after a workout because this is me, and I trust that my capabilities will still shine through despite what I'm wearing.  But...there are some meetings that I do put a significant effort in and dress office-appropriate with my hair/make up done because you know what makes you feel the best and how you want to be perceived on that first impression.  So being in the mostly virtual world during my working day is not new or particularly challenging any more.

Here's what I have been discovering.  

I tend more on the introvert than extrovert side so I enjoy staying home in the evenings and reading a book or watching tv.  I'm not someone who gets their energy from being in large social gatherings but more from small group settings.  What I found that I've truly missed is the opportunity to spend time in situations that give me energy and that means face to face.  I rely on those periodic boosts of energy and engagement that come from being in person with people.

I miss the opportunity to go have coffee or lunch with a friend or colleague as a change of scenery from my house and the normal routine, but also because I get my energy from the exchange of ideas ideally in person.  

Though I don't use my Y membership as much as I could, I miss the opportunity to be in a building of like-minded people - all focused on their health or on releasing the stress in their lives.  I continue to do exercise classes via video - some recorded and some live but I often prefer the live classes because I want some level of that human interaction.  Even though I'm not using my alarm now (because I don't need to), I use it to make sure I'm up in time to work out with the Tuesday 6 am morning group that I've been with now for years.  I need that ritual and the people that make it up.  When it's safe to go back to my Y, I'm most looking forward to do a live spin and workout classes and seeing this 6 am group in person.  It works the way we're doing it but it's just not the same.

I miss the hugs - I'm not a huge hugger but I do like to do this with people who I haven't seen in ages or who just need the human touch.  

I've been working on trying to reconnect with people from my past lives - school, early career, etc. because I realized how much I miss some of the people and phases of my life.  When we're so busy with our lives, we struggle to fit that email or text or video chat in.  Now, those of us not on the front lines have a bit of extra time because we're not traveling or running around with our normal personal and family activities every day.  I was thinking last night about one of the work teams I was part of and how many fun memories we made together, mostly when we were traveling somewhere - group morning runs in one of the parks in London, a celebration event in Romania, an off-site planning meeting when we all could really relax and better get to know each other.  There was a lot of hard work going on during this period and most of the time we were not all physically working together but moments like those stand out around the power of in-person human connections.

Technology gets us connected to people that we're physically far apart from but it can't fully replace that connection you have face to face.  During this time of being safe at home, I will continue to spend as much time as I can on video with people during my work days because that fills me up part of the way.  I will continue with FaceTime/Zoom with my family members that aren't local because I want to know they are well and soak up their energy or be that energy source for them.  I can't wait for an in person glass of wine or cup of coffee with friends and family.  I'm anxious to spend some time somewhere outside of my home, my neighborhood, the grocery store, and the barn where my daughter can still ride.  Usually, those are the places I'm happy to be but, right now, I can't wait for a change of scenery.

So...the things you may be learning about yourself and your life may not be huge but I would bet there are a few lessons that you may want to reflect on as you think about what's coming next.

If you're interested in documenting some of what you're learning during this time and making conscious decisions around what you want your life to look like post restriction, you can download this workbook.  If you're interested in a free 30-minute session to discuss what you're learning or go through the exercises together, just reach out.

Be safe.  Give yourself and each other grace.  We're all just trying to do the best we can right now.

Thinking of you.