12 Reflections from Ted Lasso, Season 3
Photo by Lili Kovac on Unsplash
Based on an idea from a friend, I have been sharing one insight from each of the 12 Ted Lasso Season 3 episodes as part of my weekly LinkedIn content. Now that the season is over, I thought I'd share the aggregated view here.
✏️If you haven't watched the season yet, there shouldn't be any significant spoilers, so keep reading.
✏️If you've never watched Ted Lasso, it's time to get a subscription to Apple TV+ for a month and binge it.
✏️If you watched the season, tell me about your favorite insight from this season in the comments.
I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
🤔 Reflection 1: Being yourself is more powerful than trying to take on someone else’s persona.
🤔 Reflection 2: Good hiring is not about the perfect resume.
🚫 It’s not just about who has the right pedigree – right education, right experience, right look.
✔️It is often about hiring for attitude.
✔️It is often about seeing the potential in the experience someone does have to transfer into the role you have available.
All hiring requires a leap of faith. You’re never going to be sure that the person is the ideal fit until they come in and do the job.
So why not skip the 15 interviews to try to validate everything and trust your gut (and your interviewing capabilities) to pick the best person for the role?
🤔 Reflection 3: Kintsugi…what is that and how does it relate to a leadership lesson?
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery. If a bowl is broken, rather than discarding the pieces, the fragments are put back together with a glue-like tree sap and the cracks are adorned with gold. There are no attempts to hide the damage, instead, it is highlighted. The practice has come to represent the idea that beauty can be found in imperfection. The breakage is an opportunity and applying this kind of thinking to instances of failure in our own lives can be helpful.”
This resonates so much with my thinking about us as imperfect leaders of ourselves and others. We have our flaws as humans and, thus, represent the broken pottery. Imperfect because of the flaws.
Our willingness to be self-aware and intentional in addressing imperfections is our gold to glue the pieces together to make something that perfectly imperfect in its beauty.
Are you letting your pieces of imperfection get in the way of being who you aspire to be?
🤔 Reflection 4: Grace when we screw up
We all make mistakes; it’s part of being human. The question is what we do when it happens.
Do we wallow in the failure, or do we move on?
If we’ve observed someone else making a mistake, do we acknowledge and accept it or berate them for it?
The Ted Lasso episode allowed us to see a graceful handling of a strategy gone wrong. Ted’s assistant coaches really wanted him to be mad at them for the outcome of a strategy they employed. He didn’t bite. His coaching to them was that sometimes a strategy just doesn’t work, and he sends them off for the evening. I’m not sure I would have been as graceful in handling that situation, but I can hope and learn.
🤔 Reflection 5: Believe
Are you relying on extrinsic signals to validate that you’re good enough?
When those signals aren’t there, do you start questioning if you should continue down the path you’re on?
When the Believe sign in the most recent Ted Lasso episode falls down again, the team wants to take it as a sign that all is lost.
Ted reminds them that it’s not about these outward signs. It’s about what the team members believe about themselves. Do they believe they’re good enough?
If you’re waiting for those external signs to tell you to keep going, it’s time to stop.
Start listening to your heart. What is it telling you to do?
As I watched this episode, it was a reminder to me that I need to look inside, not outside, for my path forward.
🤔 Reflection 6: Belonging
One definition of belonging is “an affinity for a place or situation.” As humans, we want to feel like we belong somewhere. In the workplace, we want to feel a sense of belonging. It’s the highest goal when we think about diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging because it relates to creating a feeling vs. taking action.
In this episode, we hear Colin say, “Well, my whole life is two lives, really. I've got my work life. Then you've got my dating life. Some guys think it's hot; others say they don't care, but eventually they get tired, and they move on," he says. "Then the club brought in Dr. Sharon, and she made me realise I have an ache — an ache for both my lives to be my only life. I don't want to be a spokesperson. I don't want a bunch of apologies. All I want is, when we win a match, to be able to kiss my fella the same way the guys get to kiss their girls.”
I think this is our greatest aspiration, regardless of why…to feel like we can be our whole selves at home, at work, and in our communities.
Are you living a fully authentic life, bringing all of you to every situation you are in?
These are my three wishes for today:
🪄 That you can feel comfortable being you in every situation.
🪄 That you, as a leader, are creating environments where your team can show up as themselves without fear
🪄 That organizations prioritize creating a sense of belonging as part of their talent agendas.
🤔 Reflection 7: What does this situation need?
What a simple question, but one we don’t necessarily ask enough. We keep moving instead of pausing to reflect.
Maybe it was a bit sappy, but the closing scene with the team showing up for Sam and responding that they thought it was what the situation needed was an excellent way to demonstrate what it means to care beyond the required teaming of their jobs.
What if we were more intentional and asked ourselves, “What does this situation need…need me to be…need me to do…need me to consider?”
🤔 Reflection 8: “Find Out Before You Flip Out”
How often do you start worrying about what might happen and focus more on that scenario than the one in front of you? In last week’s episode, Ted is beginning to spiral about something he assumes will happen (no spoiler here)…making assumptions that it’s a done deal. He is guided to “find out before he flips out” and not to worry until the thing actually happens.
I talked to a client about this yesterday as they shared several situations that could change everything they had planned, resulting in scaling back their offer.
There’s a fine line in planning for what might happen so that you are prepared and not blind-sided versus moving into the worry mode where you are only focused on the “what ifs.”
As leaders, we need to prepare for the what-if scenarios, but we can’t allow them to divert our attention from what’s happening now.
We need to operate in the present, looking to the past for insights and planning for the future.
We all worry at some time.
We choose whether we trust that we’ve prepared appropriately or doubt that we’ve done it well enough.
Our choice is whether we believe we can handle what comes or doubt that we can figure it out.
My vote…don’t flip out until you find out.
🤔 Reflection 9: I don’t care if you’re…
We may think we’re being inclusive when we say things like, “I don’t care if you’re black” or “I don’t care if you’re gay,” but the opposite may be true.
We see this example where a player admits to the team that he’s gay, and one of the team members says that he doesn’t care as a way to support the person. Ted tells one of his roundabout stories about why we do need to care.
📌We need to care about what makes us similar and different.
📌We need to acknowledge and recognize the challenges of someone being different.
📌We need to see each other as whole people.
Is there an opportunity to show that you do care about the differences this week?
🤔 Reflection 10: Trusting our internal compass
When we stand up for something we believe in, we always take a risk that there will be ripple effects that are more negative than positive.
In this episode, we saw Nate walk away from a situation that wasn’t aligned with whom he wanted to be; Keely lose her opportunity because she refused to be embarrassed by a choice she had made, and Sam not get selected for something important to him because he had gone against what an influential power broker had wanted.
All of these characters start with feelings of failure and negative emotions. By the end, they all had found a positive light in their situation.
How does this translate to our lives?
📌 When we stay true to who we are and what we believe, we often have to make choices others won’t like.
📌We may experience a loss of opportunity or relationships.
📌What we retain is the knowledge of living our lives authentically.
📌When we live authentically, the rewards will come, though maybe not as expected.
Where have you seen being true to yourself, having tough implications initially but ultimately working out?
🤔 Reflection 11: Do you believe in second chances?
Do you believe in second chances for other people?
Your answer might be that it depends on what they did.
Things to consider:
· Did someone give you a second chance?
· Did you feel like you deserved it?
· What did you learn from that experience?
When in doubt, give a second chance. I think we all screw up and need that grace to try again.
What about for yourself? Do you give yourself a second chance when you screw up or fail?
Often, we are harder on ourselves than others. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself that second chance.
Dig deep and take advantage of that second chance. You don’t want to waste it.
🤔 Reflection 12: “Change Isn’t About Trying To Be Perfect.”
As I was watching the last episode, I wondered what would be my final topic in this series…and then there it was. The word perfect.
Coach Beard eloquently shares, “Change isn’t about trying to be perfect. Perfection sucks. Perfect is boring.”
Higgins adds, “Human beings are never going to be perfect, Roy. The best we can do is keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you’ll always be moving towards better.”
Moments can be perfect.
People are not perfect and will never be.
Let’s celebrate the moments that feel perfect.
Let’s celebrate our messiness of imperfection and our goal to keep getting better.
So long, Ted Lasso. You have been a great leadership coach.